Yesterday I was working out hard at the gym, stopping a few times to talk to Bird on the phone. She was at JFK, ready to come to Cali to serve as Art Director on our Seppuku shoot. It's thrilling. Exciting. And hard work. Making movies, that is. Following a dream. Feeding a dream so it continues to live.
Seppuku is not my story. Nor is it Peter's, actually, although he co-wrote it. Seppuku belongs to our amazing director, Daryn Wakasa. It's his vision of this Japanese American folktale that has haunted him for years, that is driving the work the creative team of filmmakers and actors will continue today. It is his story that is moving shit around in his soul.
We're driving to Manzanar to shoot. Three days. In the hot sun. In the cool mountains. On sacred ground. And I just know all our souls will be shifted.
Although Blessed is a totally different story, what it has done to my soul is why I can connect and support Seppuku. Blessed is about infertility. It's about grief. It's about trying to reconcile that internal conflict of being a mother or a warrior. Which?
I know it's both. I always knew that. I am that kind of mother to my first daughter. And yet, as grief works it's harsh magic, a person can lose sight of what makes them strong, what makes them a warrior. We can find ourselves in a darkness, thinking we're far away from our soul.
But then, we take what the Great Spirit has granted us: craft, talent, skill, fueled by curiosity and drive and we go to the page, or we pick up the camera, or we sit in the desert sun and find the beauty in the art. And maybe, as we are step into the sacred place of creation, we will feel our souls ignite. Move. Grow.
Making independent film is not easy. It's hard. And often times we only have our drive to keep us going. But knowing that we are doing right by our souls, we're healing what's wounded, we're quieting the ghosts and sending them on their way is the motivation we need and then the gift we deserve.