The question of Why I Wrote Blessed usually brings on a long-winded answer about film with women leads, stories that are underrepresented, getting away from the page and just creating movies, and making the dream of filmmaking a reality, which are all truthful answers. All reasons why I wrote this film. Definitely.
But, the answer which runs the deepest, the real driving force behind writing this film is the Indescribable Joy of Motherhood. So...there it is. And I can't describe it.
I can tell you is that being a mom is the most awesome, frightening, rewarding, exciting and exhausting thing I've ever done. For me, for who I was when I got pregnant with my daughter years ago, becoming a mom meant that God decided I was worthy of the gift. Yes, I thought that. I believed that. And that thought was my saving grace when I got tired, or scared I wasn't taking care of her well enough, or I was unsure of our future because we were so poor. That thought was part of motivation to finish school, get multiple masters degrees, pay my bills, create a loving community, go to therapy, eat healthy, laugh and hug and love her with a fierceness I didn't know I had until I turned to this child and lived a new life.
Bird is cause, reason and purpose. She saved my life because she gave me life. This is what motherhood did for me.
And now, years later I know...deeply know...how that be belief could be so hurtful to a woman who cannot get pregnant. As if God or The Great Spirit would say, you are not worthy so therefore you must suffer. I don't believe that. Not at all. Not now. Not today.
It was this belief, though, that I struggled with a couple years ago that drove me to write Blessed. I needed a woman character to take me through that painful part of the journey, when you try to convince yourself you don't really want a baby, when you fear that the Great Spirit has deemed you unworthy and you're trying desperately to HEAL. Heal.